Gossip [&] the Devil

A Postcard from Hopeless Beach hanging in my office. "Artists must be sacrificed to their art. Like bees, they must put their lives into the sting they give." - Ralph Waldo Emerson (Sets for sale soon at modernorphandesigns.com)

Years ago I was going to help a girl friend write a book. We talked about it often between 2005 – 2008 and I was extremely excited. For a while in 2005 I identified myself as “the co-author of x’s pending book.” It filled me with accomplishment, desire and a drive to succeed. Numerous people could potentially read this book and the idea of nourishing not only a friend but my creative child was lucrative.

Needless to say it never happened despite many promises, plans and proclamations that I was the “perfect person for the job.” (Oh how my praises were sang from the balconies!) For a brief moment I didn’t know how to come to terms with this, but then it all seemed to fade away.

When you define yourself by someone else you glean nothing of yourself. When you place that burden upon your head you automatically become heavy with a needless weight.

Today I’ve released my first book (before she has), have a pending merchandise line and have signed my first national publishing contract. I’ve started to gain my own recognition, pay my dues and carve my own niche on the surface of the Earth. Before I was too ignorant to believe in myself by my own merits and it hurt me for many years. That wasn’t her fault and it wasn’t mine. I just didn’t know better. After the abrupt dissolution of the potential book deal I slowly regained my bearings and started incorporating new ways of thinking about myself, my creativity and how they connect in my life.

Launching this site was the first step in that process.  A year ago Gossip [&] the Devil proper was born. I’ve conducted interviews with some of my favorite artists, people changing the game in the art world, written reviews and forged genuine ties across the globe. G[&]D has served as my main house for everything artistic and has virtually taken on a life of its own. That isn’t to say it came easy because I assure you, it didn’t and I will continue to fight for it until the end of G[&]D and on through the birth of something else. I believe in this, I believe in art, I believe in the belief of dreaming out loud, as gaudy and joyously as you can. I believe in experiencing every facet of life which is why you’ll find posts about pills, jetsets and regrets. About music, muses and musings on revenge. Those are some of MY facets, excavate some of yours. Sincerity is free, run through life with armfuls of it, with mouthfuls of honesty and always an ever educated eye on the mistakes of your past. Don’t give in and don’t define yourself by anyone else.

Found in the Red Line subway station, Chicago. "Broken pockets are / leaking poems on the ground / gather up the words." A haiku by a Columbia College student. (Columbia College has rejected me many times. One day though...)

To help me celebrate my creative birthday, editor Larry Ziman, who you should by now know from The Great American Poetry Show, called me a few nights ago. (If all goes well, and all of the poets get their proofs back on time, Volume 2 will be released in June 2010.) We went over some technical stuff for “Voyeur” and discussed poetry vs. poems, how many bad poets get published with the help of bad editors and my potential status as a demimonde (demimonde = a woman on the outskirts of respectable society, usually with many rich and well-to-do benefactors). He said he’d never had someone as excited as I was/am to be published in TGAPS. I told him Pushcart Prize nominations aside, I worked my ass off to secure a spot in Volume 2, submitting 40+ submissions before ONE was finally taken.

In further celebration it has been a busy month for me personally on a number of levels. Namely the installation of my new job with I absolutely love and am extremely grateful for. It’s been a long time since I’ve got to put my juices to creative use at a place of employment and it feels refreshing to be able to do that again. My new employers are some of the nicest, kindest people I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting and I think it’s no coincidence they came across at this point in my life when I needed some gentler guidance than I’d previously been getting. In fact some of the harshest violence was coming from myself, which was far from productive and likely contributed to some of the writer’s block I was experiencing.

One of the things hit hardest with this lack of creative flow has been the Billy series over at Troubadour 21. While it started out as a single piece of microfiction I somehow thought it’d be a great idea to morph it into an entire series. I’m not sad to say, but it’ll be coming to an end very soon as I’ve simply fallen out of love with the characters and the story, which represents a time in my life I’m trying to move past. I’d love to do another series one day as working with the short story editor Paquita Roth has been an absolute pleasure, but only after I’ve secured fresh characters and a desire to flesh them out over a series. For those of you still following, part IX, titled “Two Worlds Collide” has been posted here, with part X titled “Checkmate” to be posted soon after.

I think 2009 taught me about darkness more than anything. It was arguably one of the worst years of my life, though it brought me some wonderful things (my book, my collaboration with Natascha Artworx and the artists I’ve interviewed among them). People will leave you in life. They’ll love you and lie to you. You’ll do the same to someone else. You’ll regret. It’s part of the experience. You’ll wake up in the middle of the night and know what the darkness feels like, you’ll feel it seep into your very pores. You’ll step into the sunlight like it was your first time. You’ll make promises you will and won’t keep, many times to yourself. Take these things and DO something. That’s what I aim to continue to do in 2010.

The Practice of Poetry :: A great resource for overcoming writers block.

As you know I’ve been going through a bleak depression/writers block. To counteract this I’ve went back to one of the earliest writing techniques I learned in high school: the art of the twin poem.

For any unaware writers out there,  a twin poem is basically just like it sounds. You find a poem and write it’s twin, opposite words and situations. More often than not you wind up with a poem totally different than your twin, and something to add to your portfolio. I’ve also signed up for a couple “word a day” programs in an attempt to expand my vocabulary. Every day I get a word and I use it in that evening’s twin poem. I hope that soon they’ll sound/read natural because my language will be elevated.

7 Poets, 4 Days, 1 Book :: The book I'm currently using to write twin poems.

This has produced me some of my best work to date and I’ve decided to release a book when I’m done twinning  my current book of choice,  7 poets, 4 days, 1 book. My book will nothing but my twin poems and a handful of new work I’ve had in store for a while. Its coming along quite nicely.  A preview of what I’m talking about is found below the cut:

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inside the DIY ARTBOOK project :: drawings by Natascha Peiser

No one gets into this business to make money. If you’ve succumbed to an artists calling you’re admitting you’re willing to spend your life in poverty and constant question from those around you who just don’t get it. DIY labors are born of love, dedication and a drive you can’t quite explain. Sometimes your faith shakes, cries and downright denies its ability to continue. But you do, because you must and because there are others who believe in you.

Natascha Peiser is one of these people. In a recent interview with Silverthorn Press, Natascha said: ” I´m a self-taught artist. I am learning by doing.”

A art-liver in her own right she’s been a fan and friend of G[&]D nearly since the beginning, finding a home among the Modern Orphan mantra and supporting however she could, much to my appriceation. This is how we came together, though an entire ocean separates us (She lives in Hamburg, Germany). This is the power of art and the humanities. Two like minds, suffering and surviving for their art, striving to carve a small place for our own works in the vast expanse of the universe.

When she began work on her DIY ARTBOOK project I admired her and indeed planned on purchasing one when she was through. I was excited she had decided to pursue her art in some fashion for she’s quite a remarkable sketch artist; she’s even been endorsed by the likes of Amanda Palmer. When she asked me to contribute I was honored and some time later sent her some handwritten, typed and burned up works of poetry to be included among its decorated pages. The result is her very first book project, which she’s proudly finished and set for sale today.

inside the DIY ARTBOOK project :: drawings by Natascha, words by yours truly

This is a genuine labor of love–love for art, love for preservation and the unshakable belief that there is something more to these endeavors we pursue than sheer vanity and ego, that these things can forge connections across oceans and modes of thinking. You can purchase the DIY ARTBOOK featuring Natascha and myself here in her webstore for only $10, which includes free international shipping. Don’t forget all of my works featured in the DIY ARTBOOK can also be found in my first chapbook, The Rough Chronicles of Bipolar Romance available through modern.orphan.designs. for $10 as well, including shipping. Independent art is alive and well! Modern Orphans unite!

inside the DIY ARTBOOK :: art and words by yours truly :: soon for sale at modernorphandesigns.com

Troubadour 21 :: The “My Brother Billy” Series and Upcoming Interviews

I touched on this in the last post but I’ll expand just a little further with this one. Troubadour 21 has aptly named  my series”My Brother Billy”–  an out-of-order, sexually charged, angsty series I created over two years ago on the shores of the Gulf of Mexico when I was looking for a new muse to guide me during a particularly dark and troubled time. They are stories of a twenty-something girl, her much older brother and her love interest, Nathaniel. They’ve recieved rave reviews from the editors of T21 and as a result I’ve been contracted to write a story a week for them to continue the series. I hope to publish them all in book form one day and , in all honesty, this excercise is forcing me to write during this writing drought I’m experiencing and so I thank them from the bottom of my heart for giving me a chance.

Lead Article featuring my “Billy” series by Editor Paquita Roth

And, in case you missed them, here are parts I through III of the series–take a taste and see for yourself:

Part I :: Living Under Glass
Part II :: The Inquisition
Part III :: The Invention of Hopeless Beach

Part IV will be posted soon and I’ll make sure to keep them updated as best I can on here, including links on the side bar for easy access. If you enjoy them, please share them with your friends and help me achieve a readers choice status!

Also, in the spirit of crossing art borders and in G[&]D breaking news, I have upcoming interviews with the authors of the forthcoming poetry and photography book, Flowers + Filth: Rock photographer Lisa Johnson and William Francis of Aiden! Look for those in the near future, as well as my interview with Kill Hannah’s newest touring guitarist, Maddox, coming as soon as he has a break from tour! Get ready to feast your eyeballs on deliciousness with these. I’m super jazzed about working with such talented and well-spoken individuals.

It has been a bleak month creatively and will likely continue into a bleak November, but on this Devil’s Night it’s forever important to remember that while pressing on is the last thing you want to do, it is essential. For if we do not fight to keep these things alive, if we do not create the art needed to bind human beings to one another, no one else will. Unique is the person willing to take on the burden, and the blessing, of being an artist. Keep being brave, dear Orphans.

P.S. If you’re in Tulsa this coming Tuesday I’ll be reading from The Rough Chronicles of Bipolar Romance at the Gypsy Coffee House [303 N Cincinnati Ave, Tulsa, OK 74103] starting around 8pm – come, grab some great lattes and open your ears. Copies of my book will be available at this time as well!

artwork by (t.) schroeder for thegreatandsmall.com

Hey G[&]D Virgins :: if you haven’t noticed a few posts down, I had some work featured in an online collaboration of artists called Troubadour 21. They’ve decided they really like me and want more of my work. This was already in consideration  so they put this up until I can get enough time together to work on new works, particularly my Billy series which is also mentioned in that post.

I’m pretty unashamedly trying to get into the readers choice category with each try and given the number of Orphans pillaging the streets that should be easy. You’ve already gotten me into readers choice with “Living Under Glass” and featuring my first published photograph, “Lord Henry Hits Rock Bottom,” so, let’s keep the trend going and showcase art you, the Modern Orphans, believe in!

The new piece is called “What They Don’t Know Won’t Hurt Them” and it is also featured in my book, which will be made for purchase later this month. It’s about all the fun things that can happen in a dark bar booth – what sorts of fun have you had? Leave a comment and let me know.

In other news [the] has picked up a couple of my works as well. The first is a poem called “He’s a Drummer By Trade” and you might notice it from my [words] section above. The second is a new flash fiction piece entitled “The White City” which never had a home until now. That particular piece was written when I very first visited Navy Pier. I sent it to a friend who lived near there in one of those nervous, “will he or won’t he email me back” moments. Less than an hour later we were talking. Makes me nostalgic. You can read both of those right here. [And please, leave a comment either on his site or mine letting us know if you love/hate/don't care about what you're reading. It's how we augment our delivery so that you DO care. We want you to read because you WANT to read too.]

Disc ruptured out into the spinal cord.

in :: other news

Natascha, A loyal Orphan for sometime, is getting ready to go under the knife for her ruptured disks in her back. I am extremely sympathetic to her situation for I have the same injury x2, only I refuse to be operated on. It is an extremely painful, debilitating, burning injury that greatly disrupts your way of life. It can even land you in a wheelchair if your spinal cord is disturbed for too long. I’d just like to wish Natascha good luck and well wishes to her and her family for a speedy recovery! Any donation to her site above I’m sure would be greatly appriceated. We aren’t the type of artistis who can auction wine glasses and Wet Naps to generate enough dough to pay for a small house.

You have a package on the way, my dear, I wish you nothing but love, peace, empathy, desire, mischief and gladness.

Orphans:

I know it’s been a bit since I’ve had brand new work posted online. Well I’m about to break that cycle. As most of you know I’m a big fan of writing and reading flash fiction – it’s a genre I’m still new to but am learning, with the help of criticisms from editors and peers, rapidly how to shape a 1000 word or less word picture.

I currently have a new flash fiction piece entitled “Living Under Glass” featured on Troubadour 21, which is a wonderful site marrying art and poetry, for “writers in the 21st century.” It hosts a plethora of poetry, photography and short stories, providing a home to many artists under one impressive roof.

“Living Under Glass” is part of my “Big Brother Billy” series, in that Billy comes home to his younger sister and a number of short fiction pieces ensue. Each piece isn’t linear and isn’t meant to tell a story in and of themselves, but rather a back story is to be gained from their peculiar and semi-incestuous interactions. I started them back in 2007 and so far I’ve only had one real champion of that series but I’ve always felt it had more to say. According to the short story editor and the executive editor for T21, they do too. So expect more from the series shortly! For now, check out “Living Under Glass:”

“Living Under Glass” on Troubadour21

Help me become a “Readers Choice” by getting my view count up! If you know anyone that might enjoy semi-rockstar inspired, image heavy works, direct them my way Orphans!