Gossip & the Devil

“A pro isn’t someone who sacrifices himself for his job. That’s just a fool.”

between my crooked teeth
difficulty sticks in strings.
i wince against the rattle
of my [medicine] chest
but i hold the moment
by the fistful -
despite inexperience,
despite primitive implements,
i flash those teeth
and say “hello.”

JMT, 2009/2011

In my apartment, Vivaldi is playing at a volume loud enough to disturb the demon child and his deaf grandmother who forgets the rest of us can still hear her in the unit above me. I’ve just taken two Ambien and I must get this out before it kicks in and I reveal to you the seven secrets of Apollo, thus granting you eternal life and the sexual stamina of a god.

So let’s begin. This particular post has been in my queue for almost a year. Half-done. Almost done. Actually done, just too fatigued to post for fear of…something. Excuses perhaps. An explanation as to where I’m going. Where I’ve been. But in the end, maybe it doesn’t matter.

One thing I’ve always had difficulty with is this moment, right now. It’s never this moment. It’s always what will be, what has been, what I’m missing, what I don’t have. This moment is never enough. The funny thing is, right now, this moment is all I have. I have no grand plan. I have no synopsis of what will become of me, or my work, or travel plans. And even if I did, what would that prove? It still wouldn’t put words on paper. It would be a lot of moments I’ve never lived in, though I’ve in fact lived them. You don’t have to tell me that doesn’t make sense.

I dream of dreams. I dream of dreaming. How backwards it is, to dream of a dream. To desire the act of dreaming, rather than achieving. I suppose the phrase “stop dreaming and start doing” is being kicked around in my head. (Quoth the raven, nevermore.)

For a long time I had an “idea” of what I was, of what Gossip [&] the Devil “should” be and how it should be “presented.” Like so many things kept past their prime I held on to that idea because I’d constructed it, executed it and I was seeing dividends in the process.

But isn’t there some risk in the process? Of course. But that risk doesn’t disappear when dividends appear. In fact, the risk rises. The edge becomes thinner. So thin it cuts your toes every time you pirouette. To keep your toes something must change. Equally absurd is it to continue to turn until you have nothing but stumps to show.

And so, there is change.

There is a ride in the ruins of a city that begs to be remembered. The music is faint and its seats are cold. All of this can be rectified. Not glorified. Not memorialized.

But revitalized.

There is a certain amount of posturing that exists in our business (read: artists), a delicate balance of confidence and ego, of the je ne se quois any one of us posses. It’s a hard mix to homogenize, but it can be done. More often there is an uglier imbalance of too much talk and far less talent.

This is mine. My name, my place. I’ve felt unsafe in my own home, a learned behavior poisoning my children, these words. The very things I slaughter for – instead I’ve taken to slaughtering the necessary parts to create them.

I talk about the phoenix, the specatle of the fire bird, the awe of the rebirth – I’ve found it well past due to become it, embody it, to MOVE. I love what I’ve created. It was all I had, for better or worse, for glamour or grit.

It isn’t all I have now, but it’s damn sure still worth fighting for. I’ve found going about things in a healthy way is difficult. Who knew, right? But, as Reno from Final Fantasy VII so eloquently put it: A pro isn’t someone who sacrifices himself for his job. That’s just a fool. And that includes this job – THIS job. This little worker bee has to put her life into the sting she creates and find a way to watch the splendor in the resulting swell.

Expect something different for what Gossip [&] the Devil is and perhaps should have been a long time ago. A broadening of content. The only “call to arms” for the Modern Orphans is to EXIST- same mission – less exclusion – less “prerequisite” – less bullshit. I’m tired. And frankly I’ve met some people in the last few months who have completely shattered my notions of what it means to be brilliant, talented and well aware of that fact – yet still humble. (I’m looking at you, Troy Baker.) Is there a certain amount of swagger involved with any artist? Sure. What I’ve “discovered” is it isn’t the things we do well that necessarily keep us going – it’s the areas we tend to fall just short in that drive us to succeed. Success isn’t nearly as good a motivator as the idea that you are but one word away from being told you didn’t land the job.

Every ink pen lying still, every note left unheard is a loss, something to be mourned but mourned DESPITE them, TO SPITE them if you so choose.

To the Modern Orphans, my friends, to my fans, to my lovers, to my fantasies – there is little that is needed from me more than simple honesty.

Honesty.

Some of you have been with me for years. Literally since the beginning. But it isn’t just to you I owe this to -I owe it to me too.

A potential muse has spent many nights with me, swapping prescriptions and speaking so far above my head I had to reach for the stars to catch their words. I’ve spent time outside blackening my lungs with them, scribbling on crumpled napkins, trying to understand their ethos. I feel the first bite of new life. I feel the venom and thank the wily bastard who produced it.

From now on at G[&]D you’ll find the “me” who isn’t necessarily always in Seattle, or Chicago, or with Amanda Palmer, or with Marilyn Manson, or with our lovely Monsieur Devine.  Characters are necessary, but a character is only that – temporary. Eventually you have to own up to the fact that, sooner or later, someone is going to catch you without makeup, and that’s far more telling than any spider-web spin of tongues and teeth could ever provide. Bat those doll-lashes, purse those doll-lips, find those doll-veins. At the end of the day you still close your eyes and try to make sense of the ink-blots stuck to the back of your lids.

Next up I’ll FINALLY provide promo to MD’s incorrigible poetry (sorry, Mat), a long-due post on mental illness (and some great books for reference), anime masturbation and yes, perhaps even some poetry. (Bated breath, I know.) In the meantime – keep dreaming.

This post is thanks mostly in part to my friends both new and old, who keep me honest:  Jai Marie (who asks the tough questions), Troy Baker (“Stop dreaming and start doing.”), Elias Mallin (“Julie, you talk enough bullshit. Now write it down.”), Peter Pixie (“POST IT.”) and, as is usually the case, to Mat Devine (co-creator of Hopeless Beach), who I had the pleasure of meeting six years ago today. Thank you, truly, from the bottom of my heart for inspiring me to work, write and NEED again. After all, there is someone in the world studying me – and I don’t have the heart to help this poor student fail any attempt at higher education:

 

Wake Up | The Dream Is Over

Let’s get one thing clear: innerpartysystem have always been too smart for the scene, from the Orwellian origin of their name to critiques on current culture so enlightened I could write a thesis on the various conversations we had during tour. Even more amusing is the “scene” they tended to fuck was the very environment they always saw right through. They became a part of – and in some cases fed – a very consistent theme in their music.

“Nothing’s too excessive when you’ve got nothing left. We’re all here ‘cos we lost control. If we all should die tonight, we will have no regrets. If this night should take my life we can’t go back. We’ve got nothing left. You can see the plastic, dripping of your face, we may not all be pretty – but we feel pretty fake.” – Die Tonight, Live Forever

I found innerpartysystem’s “indefinate hiatus” announcement surprising not only because I was certain their best work was yet to come (which is saying something, considering the brilliance of the work they’d already done) but because it was following on the heels of their Never Be Content EP that was released earlier this year, and a new studio album that was announced for a release later in 2011.

They’d heavily promoted the American Trash single not just with words but with an entire merchandise bundle to go along with the EP. The follow-up single, Not Getting Any Better, came with a stellar 8-minute video and a heavily promoted remix contest, falling into the hands of such up-and-coming and established artists like Designer Drugs and Treasure Fingers. I’d read numerous sources citing IPS as one of the “bands to watch” since they hit the ground running in 2007.

Everything just seemed…right.

“While we will always treasure our time as innerpartysystem, we as individuals have chosen a path different from the one the band originally set out on.” – from the IPS announcement

The “path” they’d set out on was one that took the current pop culture mindset and applied an attitude reminiscent of what grunge did in the early 90′s. During a time where any and everything could be considered “famous,” IPS seemed disgusted with the state of pop culture affairs and had no problem vocalizing said disgust. From the creative suppression organized religion and small-town mentalities can impose to failed relationships, they ran the gamut of emotion for stellar lyrical content. Musically they took the metallic crunchiness of late 90′s rock and the 21st century Pro-Tools explosion and gave birth to something I personally had never seen or heard before. It was refreshing. It was exciting. It gave me hope for a better musical landscape in the future. What they did was no easy task, and managed to walk a fine line without crossing over into pretension or some laughable echo of a TOOL album remastered with super-synth and auto-tune. (Even when they were performing entire sets using little more than their iPhones.) The modern desire to turn people like Snooki and the cast of Teen Mom into “celebrities” was virtually puked on with contempt. They took all of this, made it current, and what’s more: They were damn good at it. They slaughtered the idea that electronic music was soulless, a vapid excuse for no-talent wannabes.

In 2007 I was in Chicago to see my friends in Kill Hannah perform an intimate set as part of their annual New Heart for Xmas weekend. What I didn’t expect was one of the opening acts – a then relatively unknown innerpartysystem (with a much smaller version of their light show) – completely blow my mind. I had no clue what happened to me, like a drive-by fucking. It left me breathless. It was like one of those whirlwind crazy boyfriends: You wonder if they were real,  if that one night reading poetry and fucking in a school parking lot were actually a part of your tangible life, or a figment created because you needed it at the time. I didn’t know shit about IPS then, but I stood in awe of their art in a way I hadn’t for a band in a long, long time.

The Download EP didn’t leave my musical rotation for months. 6 songs repeated over and over in the car, on my headphones, on my computer. Don’t Stop was the single I didn’t know I wanted, but couldn’t stop once I started. Don’t stop. Ha.

In 2008 I was lucky enough to seem them nearly a dozen times in support of Kill Hannah’s “Hope for the Hopeless” tour, when I decided I missed the touring life. (I needed to remember how it felt not to bathe and lose entire days in booze and bad drugs, apparently.) I drove across the country and flew when driving wasn’t possible, everywhere from Houston, TX to Milwaukee, WI. Eventually I ended up in Chicago at the end of 2008 and to catch the final stop at the Metro, where the show not only took my breath away but hijacked the entire crowd. That show I nearly fell off the balcony from exhaustion. I had no voice left (hello end of tour) – but I forced it out to chant SHE WAS SIMPLY JUST A CONCEPT right back at them when they asked. Their cover of Joy Divison’s Transmission STILL gives me goosebumps.

They decimate you live.

I didn’t see them again until Valentine’s Day of 2009, when a ninja trip to Denver, CO reminded me that driving 10 hours, doing a show and driving 10 hours back takes a lot more stamina than I remembered. Of 48 hours, over 20 of those were spent driving but the handful spent at the Marquis Theater watching this band DESTROY their crowd made the drive more than worth it. That show remains one of the most violent and beautiful things I’ve ever been a part of, a show that truly changed my life and the way I think about music and the industry that comes with it. I was crushed, hit, beaten up, wasted and tripping on ecstasy. If Heaven actually existed, I couldn’t think of a better place than the moment I was standing in. I thought: This is it. This is immediate. This is now. This. Is. Living. Kris and Jared lept into the crowd even as Patrick was still screaming “it’s just, don’t stop!” and Jesse danced around on something other than booze. You couldn’t see anything after the strobe lights died. I couldn’t tell the difference between sweat and booze soaking my hair and clothing.

I knew as soon as the crowd let me breathe that I would never see IPS like that again. Everyone knew the words. Little girls, old men, bartenders, babies, addicts, schizophrenics, hipsters, metal heads, scene queens…everyone. Four days after the show I posted a blog on Myspace that said:

“I’m quite confident that this will be one of the last times I see IPS like this. They’re blowing up, and will soon be on their way to ‘don’t have to sell our own merch’ status…they want to sell records, make music and worm their way into the ‘man’s’ territory (to eat it from the inside out) – which they’re doing. So, say your goodbyes now kids. They’re going up and away from the Earth.” - from my Myspace blog

Their self-titled album was released and the video for Don’t Stop had to be re-shot because of its original “edgy” content. This Empty Love, Heart of Fire and Die Tonight, Live Forever also received video treatments, and to this day I still watch the former at least once every couple of weeks. I love it THAT much.

After that their sound moved from a less rock/electronic hybrid (they pretty much ditched the live guitar, much to my dismay) and more into strictly dance/electro territory, and lost member Jesse Cronan to his own endeavors. By the time the Never Be Content EP came out I was certain the band had a renewed vision, a direction they’d all agreed on. Their video for the first single, American Trash, seemed to support this and their previous themes of slamming pseudo-drug-glam culture and jaded ass kissing. The song was nestled between songs about love and loss – which was something I’d come to expect from them.

“I get my facts from the TV. Believe in everything I read. It’s such an ignorant bliss when the whole fucking world wants to be like me. ‘Cos I’m just American trash. Stupid American trash.” – American Trash

All systems seemed go – as mentioned before with the bundle packages, remix contests, hit shows at SXSW and gigs with Moby in NYC (where one could be shuttled to and from in a limo with bottle service) – I was left screaming “GROUND CONTROL TO MAJOR TOM!” when the bomb was dropped that they’d each be heading in different directions. Where were they going? What planet was I on?

It’s funny to describe an IPS show as a “religious” experience, given their distaste for such things. I highly doubt that was their intention and none of them set out to be any kind of messiah or harbinger of enlightenment to the 21st century youth. If anything there was a very Timothy Leary-esque message behind those bright lights that told you to “think for yourself and question authority” and find in their music what they were trying to say, because they certainly weren’t handing it to you.

Frankly I wouldn’t want them to. I don’t know what led to their hiatus other than the admission that each of them wanted to go in their own directions, much like Jesse had months before. I have no doubt I’ll see them together again, but in what form, and what message will they want to convey? Much of the magic IPS possessed seemed intrinsically due in part to the mental makeup of its members together as a unit. It’s a hard pill to swallow that they came across a fork in the road and each took the one the other wasn’t traveling.

I can only hope that as long as I keep moving I’ll stumble across said roads some day. (However this time I won’t rack up a $250 bar tab in Dallas buying Patrón, since I insisted that was all anyone could drink.)

(What the fuck DID happen in Dallas anyway?)

Patrick, Kris, Jared (and Jesse) – good luck and thank you.

[gossip session] | “you’re probably reading the wrong interview” | the new, new touring guitarist for kill hannah :: michael maddox

“If you happen to be of the other mindset, that judges artistic merit on mass acceptance, then you are probably reading the wrong interview and blog.”

Being that Gossip [&] the Devil is an equal opportunity interview slayer, when Kill Hannah’s new touring guitarist, Michael Maddox (who prefers to be called by his surname), asked me to interview him I couldn’t say no. You might remember the other interview I conducted with then-touring guitarist Gil Baram a few months ago. What the fuck? You ask. Yes, raccoon-eyed girls and guys, Maddox is now on the touring grind with Kill Hannah. (In short: Gil returned to Israel briefly to finish some personal business while Kill Hannah were still on tour; Maddox filled in during that time and has stayed with them since.) Before touring with Kill Hannah, however, Maddox was part of regionally successful acts Jupiter Blue and Miser, both of which met their end due to lack of work ethic and that sad state of affairs when you aren’t getting paid.

I remember handing Maddox my card in the rain outside an open venue in Austin, TX. He claimed he gave a great interview and, after hearing his responses to everything from word association to what the humanities have to offer the next generation I’ll submit the guy is right. I threw him some of the hardest questions I could, and he answered them with tact and above all, honesty.

Raised in Texas before reloacting to LA, he has a Southern grace about his California style. The band circuit has failed him on more than one occasion, yet those experiences have hardly dampened his passion; he instead channeled that drive into a solo project. Taking inspiration from family members and other hardworking bands, Maddox does whatever it takes to keep the music coming, help preserve a culture that likely won’t be appreciated in the near future and urges you to “forge your own path regardless of current trends.”

Age: In Hollywood I’m 29, in any other town, I’m a little older.
Sign: Sagittarius
Occupation: Guitarist
Biggest Influences: Brian May, Ace Frehley, Neal Schon, Steve Vai

Musical Synopsis: I began playing on Christmas morning when I was 12 yrs old.  I took two lessons when I was about 14, but got bored pretty quickly and continued learning by ear. Also a lot of trial and error. I essentially just practiced playing along to records that I grew up listening to. A lot of classic rock that I got from my older brother and dad, as well as some of the heavier stuff like Metallica, Judas Priest, etc. I was obsessed with rock and roll right away, and obviously never really wised up all these years later.

I was playing in the Dallas area for quite a while, and wasn’t getting anywhere. The majority of players I was playing with seemed to want to do it part time, or had so many other priorities that I felt like the only one really breaking my neck to make things happen. I moved to LA with a girlfriend that I was also playing with, that lasted about 3 months, of course. Then I decided to do my own thing.

Julie M. Tate: Have you always been a freelance musician? Have you done your fair share of auditioning for bands?

Michael Maddox: I’ve actually not gone on that many true “cold auditions” per say. I have gotten most of my gigs through mutual friends, recommendations, and reputation. I have really tried hard to only play with people, or in bands that I really enjoyed. It would be very difficult for me to dedicate myself to something that I didn’t believe in, or at  least SOME aspect of the overall picture. The only time I’ve ever gone out for an audition that I didn’t  get, was actually the Kill Hannah audition. I lost the lead guitar slot, but apparently came in a close second, so when Dan Wiese decided to get married, I was asked to fill in for him for a few weeks, which turned into me staying on with the band even after Dan returned.

JMT: One of these gigs included Jupiter Blue, who moved from Chicago to LA. What brought you together with them?

MM: It was actually only the singer [Dickie Chapin] that relocated. I saw an ad online about a band looking for a drummer, and by the description it really sounded like my dream band. I checked out some music, the singer was exactly what I’d been looking for my whole career. I emailed him, and told him that I was a terrible drummer, but if some unfortunate accident happened to their guitarist, i.e., a faulty brake cable or some other random mishap, that I’d be glad to take over. As fate would have it, a week later I got a call that their guitarist was moving back home, and that they had a show in a week. I rehearsed twice with them, played the show, and stayed with them for the next 3 or 4 years until the band ended.

JMT: And Jupiter Blue has a long and sordid history with your current touring band, Kill Hannah, right?

MM: As I said Dickie is originally from Chicago, Kill Hannah’s hometown. They played a lot of shows together as both bands were getting started, and as a matter of fact he played a show or two with them behind the kit, as he is originally a drummer. An early Kill Hannah drummer named James Connelly, was also the first drummer in Jupiter Blue when I joined in LA. There is a long list of mutual friends in the circle as well. While I was in Jupiter Blue, when we would discuss or argue about why the band wasn’t moving further, or faster, I would always point to two bands that displayed an incredible work ethic: Miser and Kill Hannah. The fact that I eventually went on to work with both bands is more than a little ironic.

“I can honestly say that having support from family is a huge advantage when you’re struggling to survive playing music.”

JMT: You moved back to Texas after your nephew was in a motorcycle accident, giving up what you had in LA. Have you always been close with your family and do they support your dreams?

MM: I am very close with my family, and have always been. My nephew was paralyzed in a motorcycle accident last year, so I decided to move back to Texas to help out with him. It turned out he didn’t really need my help, and is doing fine on his own. So, luckily I got a call from the band Miser to join them, which I did for a bit before moving back to LA.

My parents are still married, which is a rarity these days. They have not always been thrilled with my lifestyle or career choices but have always backed me, and been ecstatic about any successes I’ve achieved. I can honestly say that having support from family is a huge advantage when you’re struggling to survive playing music.

JMT: I’m sure watching your nephew come back from such a potential tragedy was inspiring.

MM: My nephew was and is absolutely an inspiration. It makes it difficult to complain or not see the bright side of any situation when i think about what he struggles with everyday. He hasn’t let being in a wheelchair stop him from having a completely full life, and he stays in excellent shape with his upper body in the hope that when and if stem cell technologies advance he will be a perfect candidate.

JMT: Miser, as you explained in your Myspace blog, met its demise because no one was making money. Then you made the curious decision to make a solo record, almost in complete defiance of that sentiment. Where are those songs now, and can we hear them?

MM: I really had come to a place with other musicians in general, where I felt like it didn’t matter how much effort I put into it, it would always be derailed by someone else’s lack of drive. When I decided to do a solo record, it was really just the idea of me saying, “fuck being in a band, I’m going to produce something that didn’t rely on anyone else’s dedication or schedule other than my own.” I have about 10 songs in the works now, I don’t know when I will have the time to continue working on them in the foreseeable future, but I’m really proud of them and would like them to be heard eventually. I’m not interested in pushing them as a product, it really is just sort of a pet project up to this point. It’s been nothing but Kill Hannah for the last few months, and I’m so happy to be in a band that truly works incredibly hard everyday for the same goal. It’s really the ideal band situation I’ve always looked for, so I don’t mind at all putting my pet project on the back burner for a while.

“Hopefully, things will continue to go well…but if not I really don’t have the desire to run out and join another band.”

JMT: Are you looking for a permanent gig to write/record with?

MM: This sort of feeds back into my earlier answer about being fed up with bands in general. When I came to Los Angeles after playing with Miser,  I had no intention of getting back into a band situation, unless it was just a very comfortable fit and was something I could really believe in. I really can’t think of any bands I would have gone out of my way to play with besides Kill Hannah. Hopefully, things will continue to go well with them, but if not I really don’t have the desire to run out and join another band. I would more likely return home to work on my solo material.

JMT: Kill Hannah usually have murderous touring schedules. How’s tour been so far? The shows with She Wants Revenge seemed to have gone great, as well as your current tour with Jet and Papa Roach.

MM: The shows have been absolutely amazing. The tour schedule is very hectic, especially with us filling in the days off from the Papa Roach and Jet tour with our own headlining shows. This is a band that is not afraid to work though, I feel very lucky to be a part of such  a dedicated group of guys. I have to keep reminding myself that these guys have been at it a long time, so whenever I worry that maybe  someone is getting burnt out, that they have already proven themselves time and time again that they are dedicated to the work they do.  I’m just so used to band mates pulling the plug when things get a little rough, so again I feel very lucky to be working with a band  with such a great work ethic.

“I think the key thing in Kill Hannah, right now, is to keep it sounding like Kill Hannah, which means making it  sound the way Mat Devine hears in his head.”

JMT: Kill Hannah really are about growing their product, enhancing it and making it thicker, tighter and more productive. How do you help enhance Kill Hannah’s sound?

MM: I think the key thing in Kill Hannah, right now, is to keep it sounding like Kill Hannah, which means making it  sound the way Mat Devine hears in his head. I’ll take certain liberties with things like effects,  and occasionally I will throw in a few little things musically, but to be honest I usually hear about  it after the show. *laughs*  Other players have come in and not really fit the sound, so the way to do  it is to give them what they want now, and as time goes on, and they learn to trust my style things will  evolve organically.

JMT: Are you neurotic? In Kill Hannah you have to be neurotic.

MM: Oh my god, do you think I’m neurotic? Why would you think I’m neurotic? Do I seem neurotic? I have to do something about this neurosis, what should I do? Does that answer your question?

JMT: What’s the first word that comes to mind when faced with the following words or phrases:

MM:

Miser: jager
Jupiter Blue: under utilized potential
Kill Hannah: hard working
Eyeliner: war paint
Profits: never heard of it.
Record Label President: never heard of us
Faygo: ridiculous

“It’s a real shame that kids today don’t  take the same interest generally in the details of the music they care about.”

JMT: Did you have a big record collection as a kid? Did it save your life?

MM: Oh yeah. I bought EVERYTHING. I was the guy that would buy all types of music,  just to get turned on to new things. I love owning entire catalogs from artists like Queen, or Zeppelin. I have about four huge racks of cd’s with a ton of vinyl and cassettes as well. I used to read every liner note,  every credit on every record that I bought while growing up. It’s a real shame that kids today don’t  take the same interest generally in the details of the music they care about. It’s interesting to me, that growing up, I only knew about 2 or 3 kids that were into the same movies, albums, and bands that I was. As I’ve gotten older, I seem to have gravitated towards like minded people, and now have a huge group of friends that were/are exactly like I was as a kid. Of course, we’ve all taken those influences and lived different lives through them, which is important. It’s exciting to find that common ground in a new friend though.

JMT: We’re in the Information Age and great works of art are reduced to entries on Wikipedia. Given your pursuit of your dreams both on your own and with others, do you believe the humanities are an important part in preserving our culture?

MM: I’m going to be really honest here, because it’s something that I think about a lot. I think that in a few years, nothing is going to be “special” to the next generation. The incredible sense of entitlement, in addition to instant information and technology at their  fingertips, means that future generations will have no interest in cultivating anything original or artistic. Anything we can do as artists to keep  the sacredness of music, literature, and art alive is paramount. Every 12-year-old has a recording studio on their new laptop, that is light years beyond what The Beatles used to record Sgt. Pepper. Having said that, music has never been more stale and unoriginal. There is a correlation there. Stop buying new software that gives you fifty new drums sounds. Stop thinking that by owning Pro Tools, you are an artist. Stop thinking that getting new gear means you are becoming a better player.  We have to stop collecting technology as a bragging right, and go back to working on the craft of UTILIZING what we have in new and exciting ways.

JMT: Do you think an artist’s job is important to the whole, or do you think an artist is self-serving first and foremost?

MM: I believe that to be a “true artist” you have to shun convention, and forge your own path regardless of current trends or  or what the current cultural momentum is. This is in direct contrast to being a “successful artist” in our world today. It’s not only  easier, but it’s been proven that almost the ONLY way to be a success, is to create carbon copies of the previous model and  water it down until it’s devoid of any real creativity. There is a way to take the things that influenced you as a younger person, and push it into new directions. Think outside the box, but reference what shaped you to become the person you are today. It’s a pretty exclusive group that seem to be able to do this. Marilyn Manson, Lady Gaga, Trent Reznor, Wayne Coyne and even Mat Devine are a few that come to mind, that possess this trait. This is all just my opinion, of course. If you happen to be of the other mindset, that judges artistic merit on mass acceptance, then you are probably reading the wrong interview and blog.

(Kill Hannah are currently on tour with Jet and Papa Roach. Check their Myspace or killhannah.com for details on this and their upcoming New Heart For Xmas show held annually in Chicago!)

you own all that is DIY | the burden and blessing of being an artist

No one gets into this business to make money. If you’ve succumbed to an artists calling you’re admitting you’re willing to spend your life in poverty and constant question from those around you who just don’t get it. DIY labors are born of love, dedication and a drive you can’t quite explain. Sometimes your faith shakes, cries and downright denies its ability to continue. But you do, because you must and because there are others who believe in you.

Natascha Peiser is one of these people. In a recent interview with Silverthorn Press, Natascha said: ” I´m a self-taught artist. I am learning by doing.”

A art-liver in her own right she’s been a fan and friend of G[&]D nearly since the beginning, finding a home among the Modern Orphan mantra and supporting however she could, much to my appriceation. This is how we came together, though an entire ocean separates us (She lives in Hamburg, Germany). This is the power of art and the humanities. Two like minds, suffering and surviving for their art, striving to carve a small place for our own works in the vast expanse of the universe.

When she began work on her DIY ARTBOOK project I admired her and indeed planned on purchasing one when she was through. I was excited she had decided to pursue her art in some fashion for she’s quite a remarkable sketch artist; she’s even been endorsed by the likes of Amanda Palmer. When she asked me to contribute I was honored and some time later sent her some handwritten, typed and burned up works of poetry to be included among its decorated pages. The result is her very first book project, which she’s proudly finished and set for sale today.

This is a genuine labor of love–love for art, love for preservation and the unshakable belief that there is something more to these endeavors we pursue than sheer vanity and ego, that these things can forge connections across oceans and modes of thinking. You can purchase the DIY ARTBOOK featuring Natascha and myself here in her webstore for only $10, which includes free international shipping. Don’t forget all of my works featured in the DIY ARTBOOK can also be found in my first chapbook, The Rough Chronicles of Bipolar Romance available through modern.orphan.designs. for $10 as well, including shipping. Independent art is alive and well! Modern Orphans unite!

Troubadour 21 :: The “My Brother Billy” Series and Upcoming Interviews

I touched on this in the last post but I’ll expand just a little further with this one. Troubadour 21 has aptly named  my series”My Brother Billy”–  an out-of-order, sexually charged, angsty series I created over two years ago on the shores of the Gulf of Mexico when I was looking for a new muse to guide me during a particularly dark and troubled time. They are stories of a twenty-something girl, her much older brother and her love interest, Nathaniel. They’ve recieved rave reviews from the editors of T21 and as a result I’ve been contracted to write a story a week for them to continue the series. I hope to publish them all in book form one day and , in all honesty, this excercise is forcing me to write during this writing drought I’m experiencing and so I thank them from the bottom of my heart for giving me a chance.

Lead Article featuring my “Billy” series by Editor Paquita Roth

And, in case you missed them, here are parts I through III of the series–take a taste and see for yourself:

Part I :: Living Under Glass
Part II :: The Inquisition
Part III :: The Invention of Hopeless Beach

Part IV will be posted soon and I’ll make sure to keep them updated as best I can on here, including links on the side bar for easy access. If you enjoy them, please share them with your friends and help me achieve a readers choice status!

Also, in the spirit of crossing art borders and in G[&]D breaking news, I have upcoming interviews with the authors of the forthcoming poetry and photography book, Flowers + Filth: Rock photographer Lisa Johnson and William Francis of Aiden! Look for those in the near future, as well as my interview with Kill Hannah’s newest touring guitarist, Maddox, coming as soon as he has a break from tour! Get ready to feast your eyeballs on deliciousness with these. I’m super jazzed about working with such talented and well-spoken individuals.

It has been a bleak month creatively and will likely continue into a bleak November, but on this Devil’s Night it’s forever important to remember that while pressing on is the last thing you want to do, it is essential. For if we do not fight to keep these things alive, if we do not create the art needed to bind human beings to one another, no one else will. Unique is the person willing to take on the burden, and the blessing, of being an artist. Keep being brave, dear Orphans.

P.S. If you’re in Tulsa this coming Tuesday I’ll be reading from The Rough Chronicles of Bipolar Romance at the Gypsy Coffee House [303 N Cincinnati Ave, Tulsa, OK 74103] starting around 8pm – come, grab some great lattes and open your ears. Copies of my book will be available at this time as well!

[gossip session] Photographer R. E. Barbash | capturing what our eyes must let go

Photography is only recently coming into its own as an art form. But photography has cemented a place in the arts for some of the same reasons as painting: preservation. Two different sets of eyes using the same camera will capture different results. We are allowed a view from someone else’s perspective. Photographers freeze moments we’ll treasure forever; whether it’s that special magic during a show or your children running in the park, photography can grab a fistful of what the human eye must let go.

Rachael Barbash has been capturing the insanity at concerts for years, and many fans turn to her website to re-live the memories. While still a student at Columbia State Community College she’s logged countless experience and face time.

Rachael stubbornly pursues her dream despite making little to no money doing what she loves. The hundreds of photos she posts to her Flickr account are free for people to take and use. But, like musicians or painters she considers herself an important part of the humanities.

In the days when every 14-year-old in the world has a digital camera, what separates her from the masses who want photo passes and recognition on the scene? What separates those who do it for art vs. those who are hobbyists?  Rachael sheds some light on the subject below when I asked her a few questions about what makes photography an art form.

Years shooting: 7

Sign: Aries

Julie M. Tate: We’ll start easy. First band you ever shot?

R. E. Barbash: I was kind of late to come to the concert scene since I was a bit of a homebody in high school and lacked any serious form of transportation.  Once I left for college I started going to shows pretty regularly.  The first band I ever shot while performing was OKGo in 2001 with a little 35mm disposable camera.  Once I got a more professional camera, a 35mm Canon SLR, the first band I shot was Kill Hannah who was performing at an outdoor festival at Ohio State, where I was going to school at the time. I finally got my first digital SLR, a Canon Rebel, before the 2006 South by Southwest festival in Austin, TX. Thousands of band play there every year and is an amazing experience.

JMT: Who have been some of the easiest bands to shoot live? The hardest?

REB: By far the easiest band I’ve shot is Kill Hannah, partly because I’ve been to so many of their shows but also because their stage presence is probably the most engaging I’ve ever seen.  Recently I shot the Flaming Lips who were also amazing.

The hardest bands to photograph have definitely been on the recent Alternative Press tours (Mayday Parade, the Academy is…, Set Your Goals, You Me At Six and the Secret Handshake).  The guys never seem to take a pause and are just constantly running around the stage.  The kids at these shows are crazy though! Very fun.

JMT: What makes a band easy or difficult to photograph?

REB: It’s much easier to photograph a band if you know their music.  That way you can sort of guess what they’re going to do on stage and how a crowd might react to a song but you don’t always have that advantage.  I’ve shot some bands who just sound like noise (no matter how poppy they actually are) and I can’t guess their next move.  I’ll end up at the wrong side of the stage at the wrong time and miss amazing moments of their act.  Also, bands who look like they’re having fun and engage the audience area always the most enjoyable to shoot.

JMT: You’ve been capturing concerts for years. I’m sure music had an impact on your life outside of the lens as well. Do you consider yourself an artist? If so, how has music in particular shaped the artist you are today, and who are some of your favorite artists personally? If not, what does photography do for you?

REB: More than an artist, I think of myself as capturing what’s already there and trying to show the beauty of the world.  What I photograph most regularly is live shows so music has been a huge part of my life.  I love catching what happens on stage and the interaction between the performer and their fans.  I love so many bands but my favorite musicians are the Smashing Pumpkins, IAMX, Radiohead, Muse, Thursday, Interpol, Rasputina, Emilie Autumn, The Dresden Dolls, local guys Flotation Walls and, of course, the bands Kill Hannah and Shiny Toy Guns who pretty much taught me to use my camera by shooting them so often.  As far as visual art goes I love the work of Kyle Cassidy, a documentary and portrait photographer, Pete Souza, the White House photographer, and digital artist Natalie Shau.  As the photographers go, their work really inspires me because they capture real life but show it at a different angle.  Show ordinary things in a new light.

JMT: Favorite photographers?

REB: It’ll sound corny but my favorite photo ever by another artist is probably this photo of the Obamas:

Most of my favorite photos have a very big photo journalistic aspect to them and Pete Souza is one of the best documentary photographers out there.  Other favorites are Kyle Cassidy, Kristen Burns, Philip Warner and Akif Hakan Celebi. As well, there are very talented photographers who are also in my photo program at CSCC.  I can’t wait to see what they do in the future.

JMT: What tends to catch your eye in a natural setting?

REB: While I have done some studio photography, most of my photos not taken at shows have come from random moments throughout the day, which is why I try to always have a camera with me.  Usually the way lights hit an object or just the ambiance of a scene.

JMT: Is there a place in the arts for things like studio work or is that merely a means to an artistic end? (I.E. getting paid)

REB: I think if you think of yourself as an artist, then you’re an artist.  If you think of yourself as a corporate slave then that’s what you are.  Even photographers at Wal-Mart family portrait studios can have some artistic input to their shots.  Though most of my favorite photographers are actually more on the documentary side of things.  Beautiful things can be made out of ordinary every day scenes.  For example, just the other day, undeveloped negatives by street photographer Vivian Maier were just unveiled and I was captivated for hours looking at her photos of Chicago in the 1950s.  If this is your thing and you’re lucky, maybe you’ll get hired on by a magazine or newspaper.  But mostly photography is done for yourself.

JMT: To me, photography is akin to a poem in that it captures a point in time that you can never get back. Especially considering the way I write, a poem can be a little picture made of words and vice versa. There’s a beautiful marriage that happens when two art forms cross over. Considering books like the upcoming Flowers + Filth by photographer Lisa Johnson and lyricist wiL Francis, they can be put together to make a compelling and unique piece of art. Have you ever considered doing something of the sort

REB: That’s similar to Who Killed Amanda Palmer, the book. Photos and words can always work together.

JMT: Much like music testifies to a time or paintings reflect it’s surroundings, what is photography’s place in preserving our culture and why is it important?

REB: As far as preserving our culture, photography can not only capture events but it can show someone’s individual view of the world. Even though photography has been around for more than a hundred years it’s just beginning to be respected as an art form. Whether it’s a set up scene or documenting an event an exact scene happen again or be seen the same way by different eyes.  It’s important to freeze the moment so others can see what was there.

(For more information visit R. E. Barbash Photography. Rachael currently attends CSCC.)