Gossip & the Devil

“Why be Beautiful when you can be Blasphemous?”

I’d been listening to My Ruin long before I ever saw them live. I used to frequent the Hole.com message boards in high school, and My Ruin got quite a few mentions over on the trading scene, which was where I initially heard their name. In 2001 I’d picked up an album called Speak and Destroy, which led me to quickly follow up with A Prayer Under Pressure of Violent Anguish. The first song proper on that album, titled “Beauty Fiend,” would go on to change my life in a myriad of ways, most of which I can’t get into with this post, at the moment.

I met lead screamer, Miss Tairrie B, in an idealistic setting back in 2005. My Ruin were playing a church-turned-venue called The Purgatory in Oklahoma City. This was a huge deal, as admittedly My Ruin are not much of a touring band in the United States, more often preferring to showcase their brand of rock overseas. At this particular time however, they were headlining on the Jägermeister-sponsored “Double Shot of Rock” tour.

I remember sitting on the steps of The Purgatory and watching her interact with the fans outside. I didn’t approach her–not because I was scared, but because I’ve never liked intruding on anyone’s space. If I want time, it’ll be on my terms, and fully mine. On the contrary, when she approached me during the show to scream the words along to a song called “Heartsick,” I WAS scared: I knew my voice couldn’t match hers, I thought I’d sound ridiculous, and I was worried I’d forget the words in the moment. I didn’t, and can remember those first lines even now:

“There once was a girl and she suffered from sickness, mouth was distorted from razor sharp kisses, tried to pretend it was all in her mind but I know her voice, when I hear mine.”

[Last year in L.A. during My Ruin's album-release show for their latest effort, Throat Full of Heart, we screamed the same words together, and I was filled with a bottomless appreciation for the life I'm allowed to live, and the people I've been blessed with.]

Up until that point Tairrie and I had only talked online, as I was an avid fan of her deconstructed clothing line, Blasphemous Girl Designs [B.G.D.], and had bought nearly every hat she’d made since I discovered it’s existence. B.G.D. had inspired me as well, prompting me to create some of my first sets of clothing, to scour thrift stores for cameos and rosaries to safety pin on vintage slips I’d find for sale online, to dress in the classiness of the 1920′s, to have a positive outlet for the creativity bubbling inside me besides my writing. After a time, I graduated from straight imitation to a blend of my own style and B.G.D and whatever haute-couture I could find in magazines like Flaunt and Elle.

Which brings me to the point of this post:

I’m announcing her latest set of creations, which can be found at www.bgd.bigcartel.com. She also has a new blog over at www.blasphemousgirldesigns.com, with updates and announcements. This is a huge deal, as it’s been years since her last collection, and frankly since her last one she’s only gotten better, pouring countless hours, blood and drops of Jack Daniels into her necklaces, bracelets, tunics and relics. Inspired by everything from insomnia to Mae West to Jesus Christ, she is a woman of many trades, and as much as she puts into her music, so does she into her merchandise.

Maybe at a later date I’ll go back through the Rolodex of memories and discuss in a little more detail those life-changing shows, how Mick is one of the nicest and most talented people in rock, how My Ruin are masters of the in-between, the silence and the screaming, with huge indie credibility, yet remaining beneath the radar, how Tairrie has been more than a friend to me, she has been my family–a sister, a listener, an ass-kicker. She was the first person to believe in me outside of my original art and english teachers. She’s one of the major reasons I’m pursuing my natural-talent, cultivating it to it’s finest bloom.

Click below to watch a commercial for her latest collection: Continue Reading…

Submission updates [&] a belated birthday wish to a dear friend.

In keeping with the updates, I have a few more on the submissions front:

* In the next few weeks I should also be hearing from editor Larry Ziman from “The Great American Poetry Show” on my inclusion status for volume 2 of TGAPS. [Up for consideration are my poems "Crybaby" and "Voyeur" as well as my prose piece titled "Exhibitionism on Hopeless Beach." Sound sexy, don't they?]

* Today I received an email from editor Don Williams of New Millennium Writings to inform me that while I didn’t end up winning their Fall contest last year, my short-short piece titled “Massachusetts Avenue Was Otherwise Dead” did make it to the final round. He says:  “About 250 made it to the final round and were selected from some 1,400 total submissions in four categories. The quality in our contests is high, and you should be proud of your accomplishment. I am.”

* Received my “Discovery”/Boston Review postcard back. They’ve officially received my submission for their contest:

In other news…

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TAIRRIE!

I’d like to extend a quick belated birthday with to MISS TAIRRIE B of MY RUIN.  Tairrie has been a muse, a sister, a listener and, more than anything, a FRIEND to me for years. Much like Amanda Palmer, she’s one of very few women who I relate to, and she’s been a good friend of mine for years, and was one of the first people in the world to throw a bone my way, and believe in me.

I first discovered MY RUIN years ago, when the lyrics for “Beauty Fiend” slapped me in the face like an abusive husband:

“Please forgive me, for not being pretty or sexy, but god never blessed me, here’s what you’ll find next time you undress me…scars…wounds…I’m bruised, watch me bleed, I’m no beauty, watch me bleed, beauty fiend…”

I’d never felt a woman say anything quite like that, and almost immediately I was taken by such brutal honesty. Thru out the years B has been a pillar of support in my writing career even if she was standing alone at times. Things like this site probably wouldn’t have come to pass if it hadn’t been for her many late night conversations kicking my ass into gear. The words “beauty fiend” are now inked across my shoulder blades.

Check out MY RUIN, the band she’s formed with her partner in life [and crime] Mick Murphy, and her spoken-word side project, The L.V.R.S. [Love.Violence.Religon.Sex - also with Mick Murphy] over on the sidebar. HUGE inspirations to my work. In the coming weeks I’ll delve further into just how much their art has  affected me, but for now let me just say HAPPY [late] BIRTHDAY! Much love, always. We’re in this art game together. [Note to B: If I was in anyway decent at photoshop I'd make you a cute picture. But I'm not. So you get this fancy heart: <3 See? Talent.]

Click below to watch a video montage from their US album release show for “Throat Full of Heart” which I attended last year in L.A. You can hear my poor voice screaming along [though I'd damaged my vocal cords already in a prior tour]. “Honesty is the holiest disease” indeed. Also you can watch as the authoress puppet dances in leopard print heels and tries to precariously deliever a birthday cake to one very energetic drummer.

Continue Reading…