Gossip [&] the Devil

Cover artwork for I Am a Camera.

(This is the continuation of the interview I’ve conducted with singer/songwriter Jessica Allyn. This is part 2 of 3. Part 1 can be found here.)

Part 2 | I Am a Camera and the writing process:

JMT: As mentioned before, you said that Goodbye to Berlin by Christopher Isherwood inspired the concept for I Am a Camera. Do you have special preparations when writing lyrics for an album?

JA: I was lucky with this record. There wasn’t that much prep involved. I had always wanted to write a rock musical, but it seemed so far out of reach. And then one day everything fell into place by accident.

JMT: Personally I’ve always written extremely concrete and detailed stories, at times bordering on over-saturation. I like my reader to be fully aware of what is happening, usually because I’m fixing to make them uncomfortable. I noticed the majority of songs on I Am a Camera were written as almost mini-stories. Do you prefer to write in stories/specifics or leave them more ambiguous?

JA: I generally don’t have a plan when I sit down to write. Sometimes I just play, ad-lib and see what I come up with. For the most part it ends up in story form but I find that you can still be ambiguous (if needed). I am definitely an over-sharer and I have to agree with you; I often push it to the uncomfortable edge. Whether it’s in writing or performance I want the audience to feel everything.

JMT: I feel loss and anger are capable of creating much more colorful metaphors. Every artist that’s ever existed knows pain, anger and loss are classic lyrical and poetic themes. You’ve seemed to focus on anger and loss in particular for this record. Do you find those particular emotions to be more conducive for writing?

JA: You are not wrong. I don’t want to sound emo—and I know I’m going to—but anger, loss and abandonment are running themes in my life. I often feel like it’s all I know. I cannot write about something I don’t recognize. Happiness and love (whatever that word means to you) are almost foreign to me. That’s not to say I’m never happy or in love. I just don’t write about it. I don’t know that it’s the healthiest way to go about things but I just get more creative fuel from negative experiences.

JMT: Are you of the mind that a writer has to actually experience something in order to make the story they’re writing believable?

JA: For me, yes. I think some people can be inspired solely by their imagination and I think it’s incredible. But I know I get fuel from real life experience. It feels honest and I like that. So that’s how I write.

JMT: Have you always felt a drive to write down the things you observe? Moreover, observation doesn’t necessarily equal personal experience. You said that writing from real-life experience makes for better writing. Does being so close in perspective ever pose a problem?

JA: I’ve documented just about everything I’ve experienced (personal and otherwise), completely oblivious to fact I was doing it. It wasn’t until a year ago that I realized I had been living my life as a camera. But I’ve been journalistic and writing poetry since I was a child. I think having a tormenting and often lonely childhood provoked the writer in me. It was a way to release. I’ve spent a lot of my life behind a bedroom door just writing. I think I often found myself appalled by human behavior and wanted to express it, but never had anyone to talk to. Writing became that shoulder to cry on in a way. It does become difficult at times to have such an “up close and personal” perspective when writing. It’s hard to not sound biased or cross the line sometimes. I’m still learning how to make it work.

JMT: For an album does the theme usually come first or does your writing tend
to dictate the theme?

JA: My writing definitely dictated the theme of this record, although I generally don’t like to pigeonhole myself to one specific theme or concept when writing an album. With I Am a Camera that Christopher Isherwood line described me perfectly and a few days later I found old scraps of paper with lyrics on them. Thus the concept was born. I was going to go in chronological order, a timeline of my life from age ten to current day, as a camera. This was a very specific project; I don’t think my future projects will be as one note.

(Follow-up: Jessica has since said that I Am a Camera is the first half of what will be a full rock musical: “I think in this case it’s truly concept alone. It’s a rock musical. Or, the first half of what will be a full musical. I really wanted to try out a few songs, see how people reacted and then build from there. So, this was definitely in all it’s insanity and glory, a full concept album. There is possibility of a part two.”)

JMT: Ironically, on your website you mention your attention span is quite short. Does that affect the recording process?

JA: Oddly enough, no. When I’m passionate about something, when I say I’m going to do something, I do it. I immerse myself in it. It becomes my life.

(part 3, including discussion on technology and how it affects artists as well as mental illness, will be posted tomorrow, so check back!)

This first post will be a bit lengthy, but my agenda is simple: I want to use my art to create a sort of positive symbiotic relationship with other artists. If I can use my continuing dream to support and learn about other artist’s dreams then the creative circle lives on. I’m more than convinced this needs to happen if our society and culture plan to have any sort of longevity throughout this growing technological future. Something tangible you can wrap your hands around, something you can feel from the audience. Something you can read and see in your mind, something that leaves a lingering taste behind. Reactions. Revelations. Appreciation.

While I am a born author I also have a scholastic background in journalism, ranging from radio and broadcasting interview work to print and freelance work with bands, poets and teachers. As poetry can be a rather isolated and lonely little island I find myself missing the brilliant back-and-forth interaction between people who share a similar dream. Given that most of my creative inspirations exist within the magical world of sleazy guitars and heart-cracking lyrics, similarly many musicians cite life-changing books and works of poetry as Mecca’s for inspiration.

One of these people is Jessica Allyn, a 25-year-old singer/songwriter from New York whose voice could have come straight from the 1920’s. (Listen to her song “Professor Harold Hill” and you’ll see what I mean.) As of this interview she’s flipped the bird to her civilian job in order to focus on her craft full-time.

Jessica Allyn (taken from her Facebook page)

I first discovered Ms. Allyn via Twitter when our mutual love for Amanda Palmer/The Dresden Dolls crossed paths. I approached her with the idea for an interview in order to explore other artist’s inspirations, creative processes and methods of writing. As I’ve come to realize, just because you practice a particular craft doesn’t mean you have to operate exclusively within those lines.

Case in point, Allyn’s latest effort, a concept album titled I Am a Camera, was brought to life using a line from a Christopher Isherwood book called Goodbye to Berlin: “I am a camera, with it’s shutter open, quite passively, recording, not thinking.”

In this sense she has managed to capture the marrow of any artist’s body of work; their unique mental snapshots brought to life. From the downright rock and roll crunch of “Standing O” to the ukulele-decorations on “Kayla’s Song” (titled after a ukulele designer for the artist collective Post War Trade) I Am a Camera is the musical equivalent of flipping through a strangers scrapbook.

In the following paragraphs I’ll discuss with Ms. Allyn creative inspirations. Parts two and three, to be posted Tuesday and Wednesday, we’ll discuss the creative process behind I Am a Camera, and technology and madness, respectively.

Part 1 | Inspiration:

Julie M. Tate: For inspiration, do you seek it, or does it usually find you? I’ve found that inspiration usually finds me, solicited or not.

Jessica Allyn: It definitely finds me. And, it’s usually when I’m not looking for it. It’s a gift and curse. I usually go through the motions. Months later I’ll write about it and think, “Well thank you (and sometimes fuck you) for the inspiration!”

JMT: Does what inspires you stay the same or mutate every few years/weeks/days?

JA: It mutates every few hours, to be honest. Life is ever changing and it’s hard to keep up at times. But I have always been overly sensitive and affected by things, so I’m constantly inspired.

JMT: I find it very difficult to “make time” to write, though I’ve been told countless times in as many creative writing classes that writing every day is essential. It’ easier said than done in my experience. Are you able to make time to write or must the muse “hit?”

JA: I used to be able to pump out one song after another. Now I am seeing a change. I rid myself of 15 years of baggage on this record. It was cathartic and beautiful but left me somewhat empty. I’m finding that I have less time to write these days. But I keep my eyes wide open for inspiration anyway.

JMT: Many great artists of our past would be considered obsolete now but not because they weren’t great. I’m convinced the majority of the population isn’t equipped anymore to recognize a truly great artist, be it musician, painter, poet etc. Do you think artists should study those that came before or try not to be influenced and do it on their own?

JA: I think an artist should allow themselves to be influenced by other artists. The history of Art, Music, and the like speaks for itself. Everyone is influenced by something, or someone, else. That goes for any profession. I went through an arrogant phase where I thought I was being innovative and ended up coming across several artists who did what I was doing, did it better, and long before I was even born! It was a slap in the face but a wake up call. I think the key is to learn how to balance both your own quirks and that of your influences. Then find a way to fuse them without being a carbon copy of someone else. Find yourself first.

JMT: I agree. I’m of the mind that it’s impossible to completely “do it on your own.” In most cases you’re sorely disappointed and embarrassed when you inevitably do stumble across that someone who’s done it better before. You could have learned something if you’d only studied a little research. That being said, are any current musicians/lyricists impressing you?

JA: I’m rather under-whelmed with most of the music out today. I find myself rediscovering old favorites these days. Still the reigning queen being Amanda Fucking Palmer. She’s got it down to a science, lyrically. She’s just absolutely brilliant and uses sarcasm and wit in the right places. Musically, her compositions are heart-breakingly beautiful. Other artists/bands that never fail to impress me lyrically: Thom Yorke of Radiohead, Muse, Placebo, Morrissey, Robyn Hitchcock, Neutral Milk Hotel, ...And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of The Dead, and PJ Harvey.

JMT: What about favorite authors and/or life-changing books? (Other than Goodbye to Berlin, which we’ll get to in a moment.)

JA: My favorite author would have to be Hubert Selby Jr. – He wrote Requiem for a Dream and Last Exit to Brooklyn. His books definitely changed my life. They were so descriptive, so poetic, so brilliant. He found a way to make the grotesque evils of the world almost beautiful. That being said, Requiem for a Dream is still my number one favorite book. I could read it over and over.

(Part 2 which includes discussion of I Am a Camera and it’s writing process will be posted tomorrow, so check back!)